Trappings of Youth -Isabella
~Isabella~
The sun is just coming up over the fields. The long stretches of road and darkness make me feel like I have been driving for days rather than hours, making the drive seem ten times longer than it was. I haven’t been on these roads in ten years. I wish I could say that I am excited to go back home, but I am not. A better word for it would be “terrified.” I have avoided going home and the people from my past, yet, here I am; heading back to a place I swore I would never return.
As, the sun is slowly rising, I can’t help but think of how beautiful it is. You can see for miles and the colors are breathtaking. It’s like the sky is singing in a symphony of colors and the whole world is its stage.
The wheat fields are just barely out of harvest, cut low and a gorgeous suntanned color. Most people might not appreciate how beautiful it is, but I love how the lay of the land looks right after harvest and the beginning of fall. The contrast of the sunrise and the field puts a smile on my face. This time, it’s no different.
I notice that I am smiling and quickly stop myself. It’s like I can’t allow myself to be happy any longer, or enjoy even the small things in life. I don’t deserve any kind of happiness.
I shake off the pity party that I so often throw for myself and try to only focus on the drive. I turn up the radio and try to find a song that I can get lost in. Out here, there aren’t a whole lot of stations and, I swear, every station has a commercial playing. It’s like they plan that out just to piss people off. Makes me miss having Sirius radio, though I can’t afford such luxuries, now. Not that I could ever really afford it, but getting a year free was nice.
Another small town comes up into view. Memories of playing sports at the school flood in. That is the one thing I do miss about high school. Playing sports was always so much fun. I was pretty good, but I could have been better if I possessed the drive and someone to push me. I loved playing so much, but it wasn’t something that I put my heart and soul into. It was more of an escape, a bit of normalcy and a distraction from what my life was. I didn’t have the best childhood. In fact, it was pretty shitty. No child should have to endure the mess that I grew up with; I thought my life was doomed from the start.
It wasn’t until I moved to Crawford that I felt safe, as if this town, these people, would be my protector. I was eight years old when I moved here. You wouldn’t think so much would happen to someone in their first eight years of life, but my life was hell until we moved to Crawford. This is where I met Ashlyn; my everything, my twin, and my lifeline.
